yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
