I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize