TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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