Princesses don't give blow jobs
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So vagazzling was a success
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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