YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
