i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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