So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
