Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
