I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
