she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
no, he came in my armpit
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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