drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
