I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
