I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
