I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
