How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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