im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
