don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
