Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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