Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
