I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
