Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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