i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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