going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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