Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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