STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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