The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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