He kissed a someone with a penis
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
