I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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