She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
