and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
