TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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