you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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