i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
