I wish my penis had an off switch
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
