no, he came in my armpit
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
