so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
