seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
send nudes
from the living room?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
