great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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