mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
