If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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