He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she peed on how many people?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
