is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
