He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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