i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
