I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm always down for nudity.
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