ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have feelings that need drinking.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
