hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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