did you get engaged???
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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