I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
