You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Your mouth is God's brothel.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
