I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
