I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
