living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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