I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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