Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
